Which team: Edward or Jacob?

Spoiler warning: if you haven't yet read Breaking Dawn, go read that before reading this post. That is, of course, after having read, in order, Twilight/Midnight Sun, New Moon, and then Eclipse.

Finished that homework? Good. Then read on.

I've recently returned from a New Year's Day party where the tween boys were rather surprised that I knew who "Master Chief" was. "Ya know," they told me knowingly, "He's like the main character of this video game and ..." My cara spoza interrupted them: "Ask him how many versions of the Halo game my husband has." This got them started.

Them: "What's your favorite weapon?"
Me: "Needler"
Them: "No way! What's your second favorite?"
Me: "Carbine"
Them: "No way! Is your favorite armor permutation the Hiyabusa?"
Me: "I play as an Elite."
Them: "Dude!"

But this is not a post about Halo, as this is a Twilight blog.

The teen girl had a further shock in store for her: after her parents proudly relayed that their daughter had read the books and seen the movie twice — my cara spoza could not resist here: "Just like my husband; he's also reading the books to me before bedtime." — the daughter suddenly found she had something in common with a 40-something-ish (Twilight-)Dad.

Me: "Team Edward or Team Jacob?"
Her: "Edward!"
Me: "Of course."
Her: "... and you?"
Me: "Team Leah."
Her: "Wow!"

The adults stood around watching me bond with the kids, and my wife chided that I spoke a secret language with them. I soothed her: "It's just a mid-life crisis, dear; next I'll be buying a little red miata."

Here their daughter jumped in: "Nonono! A yellow 911"
"Turbo!" I added.
"Just like Alice's!" she finished gleefully.

My cara spoza rolled her eyes.

The material point of this post — although I have successfully obscured it with `pataphor — is that I see the concept of the splintering of the Twilight community into Teams Edward and Jacob now to be antiquated with the release of Breaking Dawn. After all, that dilemma has been resolved: Bella got Edward, and Jacob got Renesmee. They both won.

If, after one has completed the reading of the Twilight series, and, after one has read every available piece of information off of Steph's site — and who hasn't? — then one may have gleaned that she's considering, after her other numerous projects, including in some century the completion of Midnight Sun (save it! save it!), continuing the Twilight universe from another perspective. Perhaps either from Renesmee's or from Leah's.

This, my dear brothers and sisters (okay, mostly sisters), is now where the battle lines have been drawn.

Now, I love Renesmee. I love her more than Jake does. Heck, Rosalie loves Renesmee, so what's not to love? Q.E.D. [Actually, I have a secret fondness for that heartbreaking vengeful cicatrix, but please don't let that be widely known.]

But one must admit, dramatically, that Renesmee leaves much to be desired. She is perfect-perfect-perfect like how Bella thinks Edward is, but she also lacks her father's self-loathing that drew out the Twilight series to four books (instead of just the two).

Rant.

Kayso, I'm no Edward, and I know I'm nothing to MRFE (why does the urban dictionary not have "My Reason For Existence" listed as an acronym?), but that doesn't mean I get all emo and leave my cara spoza to be eaten by every little vamp that comes by looking for a snack. When she says, "I love you." I'm not all like: "Oh, the miserable creature that I am, I don't deserve you, blahblahblah." I say "I love you" back and work to deserve it, even if I don't.

Edward! Bella says she loves you. Listen to her! Don't leave her, you big jerk!

End rant.

Jeez!

... sorry about that. I don't know if you've noticed, but I tend to get carried away.

So, anyway, Renesmee's awesome, but it would take quite a few contrived plot devices to make a compelling story for her. Jake loves her, she loves Jake. The End. That's an eight-word story, anything else, including everything I've read in the fan-fiction scene is either pure filler or pure bullocks.

Please prove me wrong with counter-examples. Steph, you can step in any time you'd like ... and when you do, I'll write "I'm so sorry!" an infinite number of times. Here, I'll start working on that right now, in anticipation of your next Twilight 4-book trilogy [Hey, the Hitchhiker's Guide had a 5-book trilogy!]:

10 PRINT "I'm so sorry!"
20 GOTO 10
30 END

But, Leah's story? OML! [I AM Team Leah, after all! You won't catch me (un)dead writing "OME!" Nosiree!] One need simply look at her

to see the conflict there, nothing need be invented. All she needs to do is to take a road trip to get the fights started, for goodness sakes! But does she have the potential for the happily ever after? Oh, yes!

So, the battle lines are no longer between Team Edward and Team Jacob. That battle has already reached its victory, for both sides. But now the battle for Twilight's (not-too-distant, I hope) future is brewing between Team Renesmee and Team Leah. Renesmee's team suffers from too much sugar and spice and everything nice to make even a passably interesting story. No, the true battle is for and in Leah's heart. And, since Harry Clearwater's gone, here's one Dad, on the sidelines, cheering for his little girl to win this race.