My Very First Story

My very first story was Bella and her friend Angela, and they were sealing wedding invitations for Angela's wedding, this, after Edward has just proposed to Bella, as well. Then Bella started crying, because she didn't know why Edward would want to marry her, so how can she keep him from running away again ('for her own good,' he said. ... Edward is an idiot)? And Angela's answer was to hug her friend as she cried.

"Bella's One Fear"

And I wrote that story, and I published it, and ... I got some good reviews on it. A one-pager.

And suddenly, I was no longer 'just a reader' ... I was a writer now, for real, too!

Wow! Just wow!

Albert Einstein said: "Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish on it's tree-climbing ability, that's what it is to you, and that's what it becomes."

That's me.

Now you. You have stories in your heart. Take your funny, yummy, happy stories, and run with them. Lock them away in your heart, and make them yours, yours, so that nobody can take them away from you.

Then.

Take your stories, all of them, one by one, and ... play with them, have fun, have tears, have adventures!

And one day, you will begin to touch hearts, and save lives.

Rosalie before My Sister Rosalie

How was Rosalie viewed before I wrote My Sister Rosalie, in the main?

Rosalie was a cold, cruel, royal B-with-a-capital-B itch, and everybody seemed just fine with that representation, gleeful, in fact, with the reviews I saw in stories portraying this one-dimentional hateful person.

And I was like ... Rosalie's smart. Rosalie's hurting: having had everything taken away from her. Rosalie has lived longer than most vampires on the planet: she's resilient. So, all this counts for nothing?

And the killer: Rosalie was right. Every time. She warned everyone Bella was trouble (in canon), who listened? She's seen train-wrecks before, and she was trying to help, but what did she get for that? Everyone patronized her and ignored her.

And that was okay? And she wouldn't be bitter about her mistreatment now and her ill-treatment before?

The character I don't get is Edward. He had a silver spoon, pampered his whole life, and Carlisle acted on the last wish of Edward's mother, and Carlisle was a loving and devoted father and Edward was ... 'grateful'?

And he treated Bella like a doormat, but that's okay, because he's bad-boy, pretty-boy Edward?

I don't get it.

Why wasn't Twilight simply called: "Rosalie."

There's a challenge! There's a complex character who is smart and a survivor.

Who also has a big, big heart that nobody respects until she found her Emmett, who loves her and is devoted to her, but who understands her? who is her intellectual equal?

I wish people would see Rosalie, simply as who she is.

So I wrote My Sister Rosalie.

Japan, Malaysia, Kazakhstan

Last month 3,225 pages were viewed by 1,208 people from around the world.

Thank you.

Of course, the biggest readerships came the English-speaking countries: the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia (thank you).

But there were some surprises in this for me this past month.

Japan, a country whose readers have studiously not read my stories, ever, came in early this month with one reader viewing 21 pages, then, twice more? or two more readers contributing a total of 63 pages views. Japan was number seven this month.

Malaysia, another country I've never noted activity had one reader or two contribute 34 page views, and a new story follower for MSR.

Okay, and finally, Kazakhstan? Seriously? What in my writing attracted a reader or two from Kazakhstan. I don't know one word of their language. I don't have friends from there. I've never set foot in their soil. Why would somebody from there be engrossed in what I have to say about two girls stuck in a cabin in the old American West?

Each time I look at these stats, I cheer for the countries that read my works. "C'mon, Brazil," I say, "you're so close to beating out Germany for fifth!" And the people read what they read, and they win, taking something away from their reading, and I win, knowing you, in your country, are finding something in what I write.

Now, new paragraph, new thoughts.

What was read this month was also quite interesting for me.

The first surprise was ch 40: "Rule Number One."

Holy F-ck! "Rule Number One" got 46 hits from 18 visitors? That means it was reread an average of twice? Holy ... Crow! What in the world prompted this attention to this crucial chapter.

More surprising? Ch 56: "Nagging - Regrets" ... okay, my worst chapter almost got 40 hits? Were people catching up after my 3-year hiatus with me?

Then, ch 73: "totus tuus" at 96 hits. Do you know how much hate I got for publishing that chapter? Do you know which chapter gets the most views? Why the disconnect? Why hate me for writing it if the majority of you love rereading it?

Then the most recent three with 150+ hits each, of course.

So. "Rule Number One," huh? Really? Tell me why. Preferably by reviewing that chapter, hint-hint.

Thank you. I love you, too, my dear readers.

"Fan Fiction": the stigma

Twenty-five reasons to share with your friends as to why YA/Young Adult fiction (and, consequently, fan fiction) matters.

The Greatest Thing ...

siDEADde, World-famous authoress of the World-famous Twilight fan-fiction Lunière (I'm not being indulgent in either claim, both are statements of fact), has started writing a new story, and with a vengeance ... That's nearly three and a half years after silence from her (with a very brief Hollows cameo).

The greatest thing you'll ever learn ...

That's the title of her new story.

I took three years off myself from MSR, ... some readers are probably scared right now, after more than a month of silence from me, that I'm about to take another walkabout.

You see, to write is to know, to know is to love, to publish is to share that love.

To be read, as a writer, is to be loved.

The greatest thing. siDEADde knows this, better than me, in fact.

But to love and to be loved ... is that the easiest thing in the World? Sometimes. Sometimes when the chapter flows, for both the reader and the writer, and the love is so thick in the air that people start looking at the mutual admiration society and grumbling, loudly, that a room should be got for all this display.

But sometimes it isn't. Sometimes you put your heart out there, as a writer, and you risk everything, writing it, but that's just the start of the nightmare, because then you have to work up the courage to select "publish chapter," and then you have to wait, and to wait, and to wait for those reviews, and they come, filled with understanding and love, and you cry so hard with the relief that people understood what you wrote and instead of crucifying you, they honor your bravery and courage.

And sometimes the reviews come, and they are angry with you. And they hate you. And, worse, they misunderstand you. And worse, they attack your characters. Your babies.

And sometimes, the reviews don't come at all. And your 'number one fan,' you know them, writers, right? That one person who says and does everything devotedly, and swears they'll buy your books when you publish 'fer realz, yo,' and will be with you to the end.

Your number one fan. She grows distant. Then silent.

Then she's gone.

And it happens over and over and over again. A self-proclaimed number one fan, comes, burns with zeal, then burns out and is gone.

And so a new number one fan shows up, burning, ...

What do you do, dear writer? How much hurt can you take from how many people demanding even more than everything you poured out onto the page? How much can you take before you scream 'FUCK OFF!' at a young girl who printed out your story so she can get your autograph?

But this is her first time at being a number one fan, ever, even if she is your twentieth, isn't it? And even if she is your twentieth number one fan, ...

She's still a person, looking for the greatest thing, and she read your story, and she found it.

What are you going to do?

Hide? Hide from the hurt for three-plus years, and then not publish again, ever, because the hope, the terrible hope, hurts too much? And the fear is crippling?

You, dear writer (ahem: 'me, dear writer') have a gift. And you've shared that gift, and you have fucking rocked people's worlds, so much so that there is now somebody breathing, who would've killed themselves, but they read your story, and hoped. And lived. And shared that story with herself, and couldn't believe it, that somebody else in the world knew her, and understood, and wrote their love on a page, and gave it to her for her to read.  And maybe she shared it with a friend. And maybe she shared it back with you, tentatively, fearfully, tremblingly, in a review she wrote: 'oh god im peeing ur story so good update soon god i love it [backspacing over 'i love u' because she doesn't want you to think she's weird or anything like that].'

And when you replied (you do reply to your reviews, don't you?) she peed herself again when she saw in her inbox 'review reply from geophf' or 'siDEADde' or 'Eowyn77' or whomever. And when you didn't snap her head off, but thanked her, politely, for her review? She just died and went to heaven, and god (you) wasn't mean and nasty and so haughty, but was actually nice?

Well.

It's the greatest thing, isn't it?

It isn't always the easiest thing. Sometimes it's easier to run, and to be harried by the demons inside, screaming at you so loudly you can't even hear yourself think most times, calling you a chickenshit for not writing what you know you should, what you have to, just to touch one other soul in the world, to share your heart, one more time, even if that means it gets torn out and trampled into the dirt, because that one more chapter and story will do something for somebody, somebody you'll never have known otherwise, who needed these words, your words to make it through this impossible day.

So what do we do? We write, we read, we cry, and then maybe even we sigh and get on with our day, and the world is a little bit tiny better place for you and for me.

I write. I don't particularly like it. I do love it, however, and what it does for you. I do love you, even though I'll've never met you in person, ITRW. I write, you read. We love, and are loved.

The greatest thing.

MSR's Visitors, June 2013

"... but, of course," I thought to myself, "I have 2.5K visitors from the U.S., then the always faithful Canadians, the UK, and Australia follow, and then ..."

And that's when I caught myself. 'Of course...' I have 2.5K visitors to my site from my country? from any country?

Who else can say that?

And that's when I became grateful.

I'm grateful to all the people who come to my site, read something, then go about their lives, and then, faithfully, return, again and again, and read something else, something more.

And 'of course' I have the bulk of my visitors from the English-speaking world. Of course. But why would I have visitors from anywhere in the world at all?

Let me say that again, and savor it: I have visitors from the U.S., Canada, the U.K., and Australia.

I've never been to the U.K. (I shall rectify that). I've never been to Australia ... I've been to 'little Australia,' ... Hawaii, and seen the people, seen how differently they carry themselves from people from the U.S. ... it was a very pleasant shock to me to see people who, outwardly, look so much the same as me and my friends in the military stationed there, but inwardly, are so different that they were like an entirely different race, an entirely different species of people. Before cell phones existed, two young girls approached me and asked me if the pay-phone was working. I held it to my ear, heard the dial tone, and told them everything was fine, they could place their call home.

Australia and the U.S. are so different from each other that we have to ask each other if working phones are working, as we can't even hear each other's dial tones and know what it means.

And I have readers, ... lots of readers, in Australia.

And then, ... the other countries, ... the countries where English isn't even the primary language. Let me reel them off for you (let me reel them off for me).

Germany, the Philippines, France, Egypt, Mexico, India, (now back to English) New Zealand, Belgium, Italy, the Netherlands, Brazil, Sweden, Finland, Ireland, Spain, China, Portugal, Denmark, Singapore, Israel, Poland, Turkey, Ukraine*, Switzerland*, Hungary, Czech Revar, Morocco, U.A.E., Malaysia, Indonesia*, Iceland, Comoros*, Thailand, Trinidad and Tobago, Venezuela*, Korea, Norway, Colombia*, Hong Kong*, Netherland Antilles*, Argentina*, Guatemala*, Virgin Island, U.S.*, Russian Fed*, Austria*

All those countries! Most of which, more than 90% of which I have never (yet) been to, and, being as that I'm now an old man, past my mid-life, I can fairly say most of which I will never see, unless I change my life and who I am and be a person to go see them.

And the starred countries? Those are the countries that had only one visitor, one time. That means, if you're reading this, and you're from one of those countries, you, and you alone, represented your entire country as a visitor to my site.

You. You from the Ukrain, Switzerland, Indonesia, Comoros, Venezuela, Colombia, Hong Kong, Netherland Antilles, Argentina, Guatemala, the Virgin Islands (U.S.), the Russian Federation (?!? the entire Russian Federation!!!), or Austria ... you are the single person in your whole country that got the name of your country mentioned in this post, so I could honor your country, and you.

Thank you.

And I've missed a ton of single persons from other countries who came, alone, but several times over the course of the month of June 2013, so they were recorded as not one visitor, but multiple visits, so you could've been from Hungary, for example, or Iceland, or Ireland, or Sweden, or Morocco, or from a host of other countries that had 2 or 10 or however many visitors more than one, but you, and you alone, placed your country on the above list of 'Countries who had readers visit my site in June 2013.'

Thank you. Because of you, your entire country has been noticed, mentioned, and honored.

Do you know how important you, and you alone, are just by reading my stories? That you are actually doing something? That you are actually reading (and reading in English at that!) and taking in and thinking and being, but then also representing yourself, of course, but also your whole nation, your entire people? Did you know that?

Thank you, people from here, right in my home town, whom I know and whom I don't, and thank you, people from around the entire globe, those of you whom I know, because you've PMed me or, bravely, reviewed my stories.

Thank you.

I would've never known you otherwise. But I wrote, and you came, and you read.

I hear you as you read my words, and understand them and take them into your heart, or don't understand them and struggle with them.

You know me, in the writing of these words. I know you, in the reading of them. I see you.

And I love you.

geophf

A few of my favorite things ...

"... when the dog bites! when the bee stings! when I'm feeling low!
I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so low!"

So, what are your favorite chapters of My Sister Rosalie? I'll show you mine if you show me yours? Okay? Okay.

• 10 - Rosalie Revealed — God, Rosalie is Kick Ass!
• 23 - Rosalie Needs a Guy Like Me — Drunk Bella, what's not to love?
• 24 - Rain by a Rose Garden — like: srsly, it inspired a WHOLE NOVELLA?!?! (and Bella 'touching' that 'flower'? HAWT!). Chapter dedicated to the lovely Lynn's daughter.
• 31 - Mirror, Mirror on the Wall — Sad. Sad, sad, sad, and chilling. I wrote this from Rosalie's perspective, and that only made it worse for me.
• 33 - My New TODO List — I just love Bella making plans, because what happens...? NOT according to plan.
• 36 - This Will Hurt - I: Ice Knives — Read those first paragraphs as ... something other than 'bathing' and you'll see what fun I had writing that with my tongue in my cheek.
• 42 - Vampire Cookbook — Bella reading 'samscript,' thinking of Rosalie 'eating' her. HAWT!
• 43 - Tickle, Tickle — Okay. No comment: the title says it all.
• 51 - Take me — Inspired MazingEnglishGirl to write her chapter "Take Me, Leave Me" in her story Fools in Love.
• 52 - A Hair — Inspired Jocelyn Torrent to start Rose Read with the (revised second) chapter "Locks."
• 55 - Beautiful — 'Nuff said. No, that's not correct, I do have to add the following: WHY didn't Rosalie kiss Bella, huh?
• 61 - Why? 62 - Equals — "Table-flipping" good.
• 65 - A Little Too Hot — Bella's blush is a little WAY too hot.
• 68 - Yes — Did anybody read that chapter summary like I meant it to be read?
• 71 - Fucked — Lizzie walks right into the lie and says it, so, now, yes, she is it.
• 73 - totus tuus — Is Lizzie Rosalie's? No: Lizzie now has her Rose. Who has the power in this relationship? So far, most have guessed wrongly.

Okay, your turn. Tell me your favorite chapters, and why, in the comments below.

MSR, ch 69 FBs "Friends with Benefits"

Okay, what happened in this chapter that was supposed to be light and fluffy?

Lizzie said, "I'm not a girl," and whammo! Rosalie had a choice, but either option was a bad one: she could say: 'no, actually, you are a girl" and they'd get into a fight. Or she could say: "You're right, you're not a girl ... when have you ever smiled? or played? or had fun?" leaving Lizzie, drained already, an emotional wreck, nowhere to go but nowhere. 

That's what happened.

Bummer.

Bummer chapter in a bummer story.

Remember my author's end note, oh, ten chapters ago, that it was going to get worse before it got better?

The thing is this was supposed to be a fluffy chapter with Lizzie playing 'ring around the Rosies' and Rosalie smirking at Lizzie's manic behavior, as she ran around Rosalie, throwing buds into the air, warning her not to crash (emotionally, that is).

But Lizzie had to open up her mouth, and out came the words.

But why? Well, of course, 'girl' is a trigger word for her, as she's always questioned her maturity, and more generally, her place in this word. Rootless and friendless (ibid), Lizzie is perfectly set up to fight any and everything, and perfectly set up to trip and fall over every trap laid out in her path.

And to Lizzie, everything is a trap to her. So she can retreat, and get into trouble, or she can fight, and get into trouble.

It happens. Somebody withdraws from the crowd, because they're feeling picked on, so they get picked on because they're the loner so they lash out and get into heaps of trouble.

So, as her friend, as her sister, what do you do? What do you say?

"Whatever"?

"Yeah, you're right, you're not a girl; sorry." When you're not sorry, and you see her lashing out from her hurt?

This chapter should've really been named "Chapter 69: FB -- friends with benefits." Because, truly, Rosalie is a beneficial friend, as opposed to a superficial friend.

Look what she tried to do: she give Lizzie a light, playful wake-up call: "Lizzie, you're saying words that aren't right."

Lizzy ignores this, gets defensive and angry, and over what?

Over the fact that she wants to pretend that she's not a little girl, and that she wants everybody else to pretend that, too. Because the world of pretense is nice and safe. And pointless. But don't think about that. Nobody else does.

That's how things work. And by 'work,' I mean, of course: 'don't work.' Everybody pretends that everybody and everything's hunky-dory when actually people are alone, isolated, and hurting. But 'I'm fine' 'I'm mature' 'I'm competent' 'I'm doing my job' so if we just ignore the hurt in their eyes and in their posture, we'll all just get along until they pull out an automatic weapon and start murdering school children or throw themselves in front of a moving train, being the seventh one to do that this month.

Rosalie doesn't play the 'I'm okay; you're okay' game we all play, as much as Lizzie wants and expects her to, even though she should and does know better by now.

If Lizzie truly is okay, then Rosalie's okay with that, ... happy even.

But if Lizzie's not okay, and says that she is, and wants everybody else to be okay with that, then ...?

Then Rosalie can say 'okay, whatever,' like everybody else does, confirming in Lizzie's mind that she's all alone in this world, and nobody understands her, nor cares.

Or she can grab Lizzie by the collar and shout into her face until Lizzie gets that she can't fuck with Rosalie's mind like she fucks with everybody else's.

Or she can do what she did in this chapter.

One day. One day Lizzie will be happy, and just be happy to be happy, ...

That's what Rosalie is praying for. That's Rosalie's hope, you see.

Because you know how Rosalie knows Lizzie was never a little girl?

Because Rosalie was never a little girl.

Rosalie wants to see Lizzie laugh and dance and play and frolic, because ...

Rosalie never did that.

If Lizzie can do that, if she can drop all the weight of growing up too fast, but never matured into a woman, self-possessed and self-actualized, that is: she knows who she is and she's fine with that ('fine' being actually fine and not 'I'll pretend I'm fine to get by'), ...

Then will Rosalie be able to do that?

That's too much to ask for Rosalie now. But Rosalie will have seen that done for somebody she loves with her empty, cold, black heart. She can't save herself, but if Lizzie is happy, just for one instant, ...

Then Rosalie will be happy. And will treasure that moment of happiness for the rest of her wretched, bleak, solitary, pointless eternity.

Like Rosalie told the girl: she's being selfish. She so wants Lizzie's happiness.

I wish there were more people selfish like this in the world.

Little Red's conundrum

I've posted the first chapter to a new story titled "Little Red Riding Hood." It's about Victoria going into the forest to deliver her bundle of goodies and then encountering something she's not expecting.

Rosalie looks human, acts human, so she's human, right?

Victoria has a problem, and that problem is that she has no clue what she's up against, so she keeps fighting Rosalie like she would anybody else and keeps getting surprised when things that normally would work ... don't.

And she has another problem, she has her ability, and she uses that, instead of her brain. Like she says, she doesn't process things in a fight, so her not thinking things through is costing her in this fight.

But that's everybody's problem. You see this girl in front of you, you kick her in the stomach, and she doesn't go down, and she laughs at you. What are you going to do? Run from a girl? Or get really annoyed at everything that's not working. Both are the wrong answer, but what if there were no right answer? Nobody believes that's possible, until they are faced with the impossibility of it, indeed.

Vicky walks into Rosalie's forest, and she's going to get a wake-up call about what her whole life has been. She wasn't looking for this, she was trying to 'get by.' But 'getting by,' ... what is the price for that?

This fic looks at that. Over and over again.

Well, it did start with 'once upon a time, ...' so does that mean that it will end with '... and they lived happily ever after'?

MSR ch 57: confidence in spontaneity

So, in MSR, ch 57 "Spontaneity and Confidence" Bella is tested, as she is tested in nearly every chapter of MSR.

But this time, she puts her mind to it, resolving to win ... and fails. Again.

The problem here in this chapter is that Rosalie can't just be angry and shouting any more, but unfortunately, she can be so much worse than that. And Bella, FINALLY, is coming into her own, ... but that has consequences for her, and for Rosalie, too, ... and for their relationship.

Allow me to say: Rosalie's anger and shouting is not because she wishes to dominate Bella, and Rosalie being right, is not for her to score points on the big board on the sky ("I win, you lose, another point for me!"). Writing from Rosalie's perspective (first) (and then erasing it), Rosalie was internally dancing for joy when Bella stood up for herself, was shocked beyond belief and filled with pride that Bella used the word 'spontaneity' so ... well, spontaneously ... and was crushed when Bella lost every argument she could muster ... even as it was she, Rosalie, was the one to crush Bella.

Just because you fight, and fight hard, doesn't mean you're right, nor does it mean you win, and Rosalie doesn't give away points. You have to, that is: Bella has to earn every victory. To Rosalie: a false victory is more bitter than a real defeat, and it teaches nothing but sloth and more falsehood.

So, actually, Rosalie didn't ask Bella not to ask her question because Rosalie didn't want to answer it (she doesn't want to answer Bella's question, but Rosalie doesn't care about 'want,' she cares about what's her duty and what right), but because Rosalie knows the cost ... the terrible cost of answering that question, that Bella, in her innocence, has no idea what loaded gun she just picked up and looked into.

You pick up a weapon, you have to be ready to pull the trigger.

And Rosalie is under very, very tight control right now, but what will trip her over the line, and ... so what if she's under control?

But those are for the next few chapters to reveal, and much as I'm scared to death to put out this material. Who cares if somebody is very tightly controlled as they shatter you, or if they have lost it as they do this to you? Damage is damage.

And there's no justification for it.

Now, Rosalie touching Bella? Doting on her?

She's lost it. She's totally lost it, hasn't she? You saw that.

Tip of the iceberg, is all I can say.

But that's neither here nor there as Bella has gained something of herself back ... maybe even 'back' is too strong a word, because maybe she never had the measure of herself before, and now, finally, she's starting to see that ... just before all Rosalie Hale breaks loose. The real test for Bella, is that: no matter what happens to or around her, does she have the faith in herself, the confidence, and the hope to make it through this 'this,' no matter what it is, and no matter from where, or from whom, it comes.

Bella sucks at tests, by the way.

But just as Bella is tested, Rosalie is being tested, too. And she is on a mission, but how far is she willing to abide by her 'see it through, no matter what' perspective, if that 'no matter what' is Bella, her, herself. Is she willing to destroy Bella, completely, shatter her, and not swerve from her path because she thinks that's the best course, the one she chose? But if she does stoop, and does stop, to save Bella from her course of 'you're going to improve, even if it kills you' what are the consequences of revealing that, yes, she is not this strong, powerful god-like creature ... that she is weak. And vulnerable.

What will that cost Rosalie, ... to admit that she is fallible? Here ... and well, everywhere? Every time she wants something to go her way, it doesn't. And who, fundamentally, that is: according to Rosalie's view of how the world works, ... whose fault it that? And what is she going to do about that, when she realizes that everything she does, she fucks up. What is she going to do, when all she knows what to do is what she's ever done? And that's always worked SO well for her.

MSR is just a one-shot I thought up on Boxing Day, four years ago, and after I published the first ten chapters that night from midnight to dawn, it's been nothing but curveballs since.

And, that one-shot? It doesn't show up until Book II ... and I didn't even realize, in that flash I had 4 years ago, that it is BELLA who saves ROSALIE from the self-destruction Rosalie wrought. I didn't realize that until last week.

I guess that salvation is bleeding back into this Book and this chapter here.

The title of this chapter is "Spontaneity and Confidence." Bella thinks she has the former but not the latter, but then she finds herself, and her confidence here. Rosalie thinks she has the latter, but how will she deal with Bella, who is all spontaneity? Who is spontaneously growing up, right before her eyes? 

James, the story-wrecker

"James, the story-wrecker"

aka "Don't Ask Me to Read Your Fan Fiction, II"

aka "You can have it both ways, but that hurts"

Okay, this isn't about James, the vampire, per se, but about the plot element I've read in story after story and I've simply gotten sick of it, and I am now so fuming at you, my dear authoress, when you ask me to "please read my story, because it has something to say, but only if you want to, but I really wish that you would because ..."

Okay, look, let me explain something to you. Okay, so, you've read my caveat scriptor, and you can spell your name and you know the difference between 'lay' and 'lie' and 'defiantly' and 'definitely.' So you know how to spell ... heck, you even use the semi-colon appropriately.

Good for you.

So let's take it to the next level: writing a story that worth reading by not writing a story not worth reading.

See, Stephenie Meyer wrote this vampire story, and you may like it or you may not, but now you are writing a vampire story with her characters.

That's great. I am, too. Howdy. Nice ta meetcha.

Good so far. Yes. And your Bella has met your Edward and everything's wonderful.

Great.

But now they are in a relationship, so, instead of developing that relationship, you panic. Because what's to write about if the characters can now kiss?

What indeed?

Well, let's throw some action in there, eh? You know, mix it up a bit to take the readers' eyes off the fact that I'm stuck story- and character-development-wise with a good ole fight scene and a revenge quest.

I know, you crow, let's introduce James into the mix.

*sigh*

That my dear authoress is a very, very bad move, for two reasons. What two reasons? you ask the geophfster.

I'm glad you asked.

1. The first and foremost reason that this is bad is that if I wanted to read Twilight again, I would read Twilight again. The reason why I was reading your story (but am now longer reading your story, if you didn't get the hint) was because your piece of fan-fiction was supposed to be saying something to me about the Twilight characters in your story.
   
   Your story? Right? Meaning: something you have to say about the characters that Steph didn't say. So, what does that mean? That means if you have something unique to say about the Twilight characters, then either your story is canonical or it is not (the fan fiction term is AU: alternate universe). If your story is canonical in the plot, then you are telling it from Alice's POV in Lunière or from Edward's in Midnight Sun or ... something!
   
   So in that case James is present on the baseball field, but I'm probably not reading that story.



2. If it's not a canonical story, then its an AU story, and then guess what? The same events are not happening because Alice gets hit by a truck or ... something! Do you know what that means? It means ... Oh! my Goodness! ... you can write your own story! ... with your own plot developments! ... you can even ... dare I say? ... take the time to develop your story, your characters and their relationships. You know? You don't have to write an actioner if you are writing a relationship piece.
   
   When you introduce James, the story-wrecker, the action guy in a relationship fic, you know what you've just done? You've just wrecked your own story. Just like Bonne Foi was wrecked by James. Just like Twilight was wrecked.

Did you notice that Twilight is actually two stories? It's one story pre-James-wreckage and it's ... well, it's not a story after that at all anymore, now, is it? It's an actioner. It's a thriller.

Bring out Michael Jackson for an ensemble dance during the cat and mouse chase scenes.

That might've actually improved the story ...

You don't have to wreck your own story just because Steph chose to wreck hers. You really don't.

When I read James appearing out of nowhere in a story, I stop reading that story. I don't care if it has over 10,000 reviews, like Bonne Foi will.

But now that you've wrecked your story with James, you have to go ahead whole hog with wrecking your story, don't you? So now you have your Edward abandon your Bella, because, well, Steph did that. Even if your Edward isn't actually Edward, but is Alice or Rosalie or somebody like that.

Look. Edward left Bella because Edward is Edward. But anybody else leaving Bella?

They wouldn't.

Bella:	"Don't leave me, X!"
X:	"Nah, I'm going to leave you, even though I love you, because I'm a proxy Edward."

So now your character is OOC themselves and IC Edward? And you want me to read a story about your Alice or Rosalie or Jasper or whomever being Edward, even though I hate his behaviors to my bones and marrow, why again?

Look. You aren't Steph. You are writing your story. You aren't writing hers. She wrote a multi-million seller. Go, Steph. I'm proud of her.

But make me proud of you. Find your own voice and write your own story, please.

No, don't make me proud of you.

Make you proud of you.

Are you writing your own story? Well, then, for Heaven's sake: write your own story!

I give you permission. You have your own story to tell. Tell that story.

Epilogue

So does that mean you can't use James, then?

No, it doesn't mean that. It means that your Bella has to meet James with the Cullens because Steph's did? No, it doesn't mean that either.

Huh? you ask.

Okay, example, then. And plot spoiler. James shows up in my story. And Victoria. And Laurent. Well, actually just James. But where? Where people meet vampires: in the city in a secluded alley. And does Bella meet him? No, Rosalie's other girl meets him. And with vampire protection? No, because vampires avoid each other. And what does James do? James does what any vampire does.

Dinner time.

Sure you can introduce James, but put him in a realistic place (yes, 'realistic place' ... I said that about vampires) and have him act realistically. James going on the hunt against a coven of seven vampires?

James is over three hundred years old. He values his fun, yes, but he values his existence.

"Hm. Bella smells temping, but against seven vamps? This other person in the next state will probably taste just as nice, I wager."

And your vamp lover leaving Bella for her safety with a vampire hunting her?

Only Edward is that stupid, please don't dumb your character down that much, because should you choose that, then here is one reader not reading about stupid characters stupidly ignoring their more than seventy years of experience to make stupid choices.

After all, if I wish to do that, I can reread Twilight. I was reading your piece because I thought I was learning what you have to say about the characters.

You can't do that if you are fitting plot elements of Steph's story into yours pel mel ... and to what end? Your story is better than Steph's. Or it was until James the story-wrecker showed up, sans reasonable justification, god-like out of nowhere, yes: deus ex machina. I don't read contrivances. You want me to read your piece, then don't write contrivances, and don't write Steph's story.

Write yours.

Acronyms

AU:	Alternate Universe
IC:	In Character
OOC:	Out of Character
POV:	Point of View

Don't ask me to read your fan fiction

Really.

I'm serious.

Don't ask me to read your fan fiction. Because if I read it, I'll review it.

If I review it, you will hate me. Forever. And all your fans will hate me. Forever.

Don't ask me to read your fan fiction if you don't know the names Strunk and White better than you know your own.

Don't ask me to read your fan fiction if you haven't charted the plot of your story from its inception all the way to its conclusion.

Don't ask me to read your fan fiction if your characters aren't real. If they don't have something to say to me, then I will surely have something to say to you about that.

In fact, don't ask me to read your fan fiction until you have read my beta profile and read every entry here under the writing category, and know that your fan fiction can survive those meat grinders intact and whole. Oh, you say you have? Then you won't mind me quizzing you a bit, then, will you?

Don't ask me to read your fan fiction. Because your fan fiction is your baby, and I am King Solomon, and I will rip that child, that means everything to you, right in half.

You are writing. You love writing. You want some positive, affirming comments about something that you love doing. Or you think you are strong. You think you can take constructive criticism.

Yeah? I bet you do. I bet you do ... like so many other who said they would be professional and courteous and open to suggestions and told me that "but my story is different! Read it, geophf. Please! It'd mean so much to me!"

I have this message for you, my dear, particularly: don't ask me to read your fan fiction.

Really.

Mirror, Mirror on your Life (MSR, again)

"Gosh, geophf, MSR just goes over and over the same thing, over and over again! It just ... well, to tell the G-d's honest truth, pretty aimless!"

À propos de rein, I love it when people tell me they are telling me the G-d's honest truth. Does that mean they are lying to me at all other times?

Let me ask you: what kind of fic is MSR?

What kind of fic is an in every way ordinary girl's life? I mean, for real.

An every day, ordinary girl does what, day-in and day-out. Wake up. Potty. Go to school. Eat lunch. Potty. More school. Go home. Supper. Homework. Brush teeth. Bed.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

"But, geophf, I don't wanna read about boring. I wanna read about vamps!"

Boring. Hm. Well, okay.

The "Mirror, Mirror" chapter is day two of Bella's imprisonment. On day two of anything, is one blowing up the Brooklyn Bridge? No, on day two of anything, one is adjusting to life at school or on the job.

And Bella's life, now? Boring? Having just nearly died, what? Four times in the last twenty-four hours?

Um.

Now, let me argue from your side, if I may.

"GOD! Bella's period is taking FOREVER! AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AT HER AND GOD! AND ..."

Okay, Rosalie, settle down there, GF!

Rosalie hasn't been able to say a peep for this whole time AND IT IS DRIVING YOU AND IT IS DRIVING HER CRA-a-a-a-a-a-ZY! Remember that scream in the forest at "The Promise"? Remember it?

In a chapter or few, Rosalie will begin to be able to talk again.

And Bella, finally, will get her wish, eh? FINALLY, they'll be able to have a conversation, right?

What kinds of conversations have they had when Rosalie could talk?

Hm.

Fireworks ahead.

But please do note. MSR is NOT Twilight. Vampire baseball is right out. And if it is in (which it's not), there's not going to be a plot-derailing James that's going to show up, because that's being handled by a very different plotty plot line (yay! geophf admits there's going to be plot development eventually), off-scene entirely from MSR (read future chapters of 13ways for the entire Laurent, James, Victoria debacle).

MSR is NOT "Terminator 27: the reunified destructinization!" MSR is much more like "Out of Africa." MSR is chick-flicky, and not chick-flicky like "Thema and Louise" but chick-flicky, like, well ... MSR.

Sigh.

geophf, writer of chick-flicky fan-fiction.

So, if you're looking for Edward to come crashing into the party tomorrow ... well, there's Bonne Foi (it even stars plot-derailing James). But fireworks do happen in MSR. Why? Because it does star vampires. But the last set of fireworks was at "A Swim," right? And the next set is at "Lillian, Arise!" (sort of), and the following set is at ... well, it depends. Is Bella's escape fireworks, or the visit of unexpected company to the cabin fireworks? or ...

Talk-talk-talk. That's what MSR is. Along with vampires, and near death experiences. And misunderstandings. And UST.

You know: "Pride and Prejudice and Vampires." Hey, somebody ought to write a book like that!

(YES, I KNOW! Okay? I already KNOW!)

But you already know all this about MSR right?

MSR has zero sex appeal on ffn. It's not an AH AU ExB smutfest (previously mentioned). It's a slice-of-(un)life story. You know? The everyday ennui and horror of life. The everyday hope of it.

It doesn't gloss over the dull and dreary and dreadful details of the person standing right next to you all day every day. But it also doesn't gloss over the nobility of that self-same person.

Be that person an inept cowgirl, or a stunning socialite of a vampire.

Repetitious? Yes. Does your life have a plot advancement every two days? If yes, then, have a cookie and why are you reading boring old MSR, when you're going skydiving today, and yachting tomorrow?

I think boring old MSR is so very much more exciting than Bella ever dreamed her life would be, even though that includes a regular trip to the potty.

I think boring old life itself, you know, the one most people live? Is way more exciting than ever anyone would have ever thought it would be, if only they opened their eyes to look up from their desk to see the rain storm outside, or the person right beside them.

MSR doesn't do that. Both Bella and Rosalie absolutely refuse to see the other person as she is, instead they try to see the other person as how they think the other person should be.

But MSR tries.

It takes an awfully lot of tries even to begin to see the other person as something other that an echo of 'it' - the way I want them to be. And its so hard, maybe even too hard, for most people even to try to do that. I mean: it's boring and unrewarding work, to see the other person as a person, and not an it that I can just use and then discard, so I can move onto the next adventure.

This is the curse of the Buddha, you know. That unrelenting search for happiness beyond the next hill. You know what the redemption is, however? Finding happiness, right here, right now, in the small, little, ever repeated, everyday grind of life; the task at hand.

Not fun. Not exciting. Not adventurous.

But, when one finds satisfaction in it: peace and happiness.

Maybe even joy.

Maybe hope.

Is MSR self-satisfied? I don't think so. I think MSR is a very unsatisfied work. I think I put every ounce of quality I can into every chapter I publish.

But does that mean you have to like MSR? Nope, of course not, there are many excellent pieces on ffn. And do they agonize over the final things, like MSR does? Most don't. They're well-written and a rip-roaring read.

What do you come out of those stories with? What did you come into MSR expecting? But now that you are here ... is what that MSR is, in its quiddity and hæcceity of it, worth a continued read of it? Do other fan fiction pieces make you work at them? Sure! Some really great works do (medicine wheel) ... don't they, also, consider the final things?

Like 'hope' and 'friendship'? And 'I and Thou'? Or, more properly, 'Ich und du'?

What is MSR?

To most, it's boring; plotless.

What is it to you?

Oh, one more thing. Rosalie is — surprise! — a vampire, and Bella is just a plain old human. Still with me?

If you dislike the imbalance of their relationship, Bella likes it perhaps less so than you. But you know who hates it the most? Rosalie (cf RLT). Finding a "balanced" relationship? TRULY balanced, that is, right down to the marrow, not just on the surface? Hm. MAKING a truly balanced relationship where one is an invincible goddess (literally from Ancient Greek times: read Hymn to Aphrodite by Sappho and tell me that she's not describing a twivamp) and the other's a plain girl of no breeding nor bearing?

That, truly, is an adventure.

In my book, anyway.

Representing Rosalie and Bella

I've just read a wonderful canonical one-shot about Rosalie, called "And I Am Not" by Jocelyn Torrent. I received two surprises in that story: the first was an accurate portrayal of Rosalie, then second was an accurate portrayal of Bella. Read it.

Both characters have been so easily, so callously, misrepresented in fan fiction, so getting them just right? Well nigh impossible. Bella isn't a perfect character who does everything right except for falling down three times per chapter. And Rosalie is, well, I've harped on this before.

Okay, I'll harp some more.

My heart always gets in the way of my pen, and I'm so scared that my representation will turn sympathetic, not accurate.

Rosalie qua Rosalie has everything she needs to be what she is, and tampering with that, Charles Dickensing that, only takes away from the strengths that she has. She is vain and conceited, but she still is strong and righteous and determined and has gone through everything, in her life and in her unlife, and still holds her head high, proudly.

To say: "Aw Rosalie!" robs her of her battle scars (that she mostly inflicts on herself), robs her of herself.

But it so hard to abstain from reaching through the screen and giving her a it'll-be-okay-hug or just pure happiness.

She'd probably turn it down anyway. "A freebie? For Rosalie Lillian Hale? I don't need your charity nor your pity, thank you, geophf."

She sure is one tough cookie. As they say when and where she grew up: a right broad.

Rosalie and Bella. Each in her own way: two right broads, and when written correctly, such a pleasure to read.

MSR: Less Talk, More Rokk! Please!

"A little less conversation, a little more action-action."

What are chapters of MSR like?

In the most recent chapter ("A Hair") our girl combs Rosalie's hair. And they make plans for cooking supper.

How ... how ... how ...

Well, how boring!

Why are you doing this to us, geophf?

MSR is a relationship fic. A chick fic, as it were.

Ya know. Two girls, in a cabin, talking.

There they are, in a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere, bathing, eating, sleeping, ... and. just. talking.

Well, let's compare MSR to life. Real life. Not "Heroes" or "V" or whatever's showing on the tube, but real life.

Is life filled with massive whatevers?

No, for the most part. For the vast majority of the day and of the year, life is just that, just living, just nothing, just everything.

And most people waste that opportunity, because that's all that life is, unless you're literally on the front-lines, like I was. You know, the front lines, where every decision I made affected the lives of four hundred men and women, every second of every day? And I wasn't even the head honcho, but one valve opened at the wrong time? One wrong order I give to my engineering team? Our ship goes down, and, being where we were: we all die.

And do you know what that was like? Boring. Tiring.

And sometimes, with M-16s and shotguns armed and free when I'd be on a boarding team, a little fun, a little scary.

What is your life like? Really. Does every decision you make potentially kill someone?

Yes, it does.

Because every decision you make involve somebody else, and every decision you make fundamentally reduces to: do I treat this person in front of me as 'thou' or do I treat them as 'it'?

And how is that?

Boring. Tiring. But also a little fun, and a little scary.

What's MSR like, right? Boring, right? Talk-talk-talk.

Why?

Because Bella and Rosalie, most of the time, treat each other as 'it' but, sometimes, they try to treat each other as 'thou.'

This last chapter there was a little bit of 'thou' going on, where Bella tries to understand Rosalie, and Rosalie tries to open up to Bella.

All in the context of combing hair after a bath then a conversation over the breakfast table.

Boring, isn't it?

Or is it boring? It sound more like it's 'life' to me, and living life? It's the only one we're given, so if it's boring, then, I gotta tell ya, that's your choice. I choose to allow myself to experience my life as an adventure, living it viscerally, in the eternal now, even if that now is a plain old boring conversation at the dinner table ... that will affect us and our relationships for the rest of our lives.

Oh, and p.s.: Martin Buber's I and Thou (Ich und du, actually) is, like, 200 pages (or hundreds of pages less than the latest HP or Twi fantasy (or fan-fic) that tells you nothing about life except how to escape from it). Read it. Now. Please! And rokk less, talk (and listen) more.

And, p.p.s. because I know you demanded it (and I listened): "Less Talk, More Rokk!" And, yes, MSR will also have that, too. Sigh.

Wait. Who am I now?

My dear author(esse)s, you, particularly, are most likely doing something that you need to stop right now. You are engaging in a habit that is much worse than smoking or (depending on your views, more than social) drinking.

You are writing chapters from multiple first person perspectives ("Multiple POVs").

Why is multiple first person perspectives worse than smoking or drinking? Smoking rots your lungs; drinking rots your gut ... multiple POV story-writing rots your brain cells, and (perhaps worse) rots your readers' brains.

You have to stop doing this, and you must stop doing this right now.

My story RLT is told exclusively from Rosalie's point of view ("POV"). My story MSR is told exclusively from our girl's POV. It has since chapter 1, and it will until its conclusion. I do not ever switch POVs inside a story. To do so is deus ex machina, and it would take an author(ess) with much more skill than what I have to be able to pull it off.

Most stories on FFN and Twilighted have POV switching all over the place. Within chapters, between chapters ... everywhere. Ever notice anything about those stories? I'm not going to pull any punches here, ladies and (at least one) gentlemen (and do I ever?). They are, to the very last one, utter crap.

I will not ever do that to you in MSR. I did not do that in RLT. I will never do that. Ever

If you are reading MSR, then you are reading from the girl's POV. That is the one sure thing you can take away from my story. And, as you can see, the reader does need that anchor, because MSR is a confusing, messy ride for our protagonist. To switch POVs? What's the point?

There is no point, there never is any point to switching POVs other than the author(ess)'s complete lack of skill or laziness or both.

If you are switching POVs inside a chapter of your stories, I have one thing I beg of you: DON'T! You will instantly become a much better writer simply by eliminating that prop that so many amateurs lean on.

"But, geophf, I need to get into the heads of more than just the main character in my story and there's no getting around it," you cry. "How can I do that without Multiple POVs?"

Let me tell you about a particularly interesting device: it's called the third person perspective. It allows you, the author(ess), to do that, insofar as you don't use it to dip into the first person trope, skipping along from character to character. It's only been around for as long as the first novel has ever been published, centuries ago. You may wish to give that a try.

Think about it.

And that's the thing, isn't it? Most stories are not well-thought out. Most stories have no plan, other than the 'plan' of the author(ess) saying excitedly to h(er/im)self: "Ooh! I wonder what happens next?"

Yes, yes, I know: you are writing for the love of it. Yes, you are writing for fun. "Get a life, geophf! It's just fan-fiction."

So, if you are doing those things, then write something that people love, and write something that people "have fun" reading ("have fun" meaning "enjoy" ... meaning laugh or cry or learn or whatever).

"Oh," you rebut, "I can write from multiple POVs because Steph wrote from multiple POVs in BD!"

No, she didn't. BD is three books: the first book is from human Bella's POV, the second book is from Jacob's POV, and the third book is from vamp Bella's POV. Sorry, even Steph obeys this rule.

"Oh," you try again, "your own story 13ways is told from multiple POVs! Hypocrite!"

No. 13ways is a collection of character studies. Each chapter is its own story; each chapter is told exclusively from one and only one character's perspective. Yes, taken together, they weave a story of the Denali coven, but each story has its own, oftentimes conflicting, perspective of what's going on in that family and why. This is intentional and spelled out in its apologia. This "multiply POVs" story, as you call it, uses this prop intentionally to make you think, to make you walk away from the story and say "Aha! That's why Irina is like that in BD!" Other stories that use multiple POVs? Read them (or save yourself the rotting braincells, and don't read them), what have you learned when you walk away from them?

You walk away from them wondering: "Ooh! I wonder if Edward and Bella will 'kiss'?" [or whoever and whoever]

And given this is Twilight fan-fiction, is there any wonderment at all in your wondering?

Yes, it's fun to wonder 'what happens next?' But Twilight, itself, goes deeper than just that or only that. Twilight builds a universe of believable, credible, deeply-researched characters in a realistic setting, and that edifice is entirely constructed, in the first four books, through the simple, sweet, insightful eyes of a seventeen year old plain old ordinary brown-brown girl.

Remember the wonder you experience as you read those books?

You can create that sense of wonder in the readers of your own stories.

So do that.

"Get a life! It's just fan-fiction."

"Hey, folks, it's just fan-fiction; chill the [edited] out."

I've seen this on more than a few profiles. The author(esse)s spout this phrase to justify any and all things, because, after all: "it's just fan-fiction."

Yes, I know: "it's just fan-fiction," but one conforms to what one reads and what one writes, and the author(esse)s that thoughtlessly write this dismissive motto, I believe, have not looked deeply into the meaning of the words they write.

"It's just fan-fiction." So I can write about rape or coerced or forced abortion callously or even gleefully, says the author(ess).

"It's just fan-fiction." So I can murder an annoying character, says the author(ess).

"It's just fan-fiction." So I can proxy racist or sexist language, says the author(ess).

"It's just fan-fiction." But the author(ess) has written those words, and the author(ess) has thought those thoughts.

But "it's just fan-fiction" so there's no accountability to those words, and I, the reader, who take their meaning seriously need to get a life.

Hm.

It may be "just fan-fiction," but, silly me, I can't read stories that treat characters as objects or ends. Au contraire, I prefer to read and to write "just fan-fiction" that encourages me to think about things more than "just fan-fiction."

But that's just me, silly me, a bear with little brain, and, after all, it's "just fan-fiction," isn't it?

Or is it? Are you writing "just fan-fiction"? Or are you writing literature? Are you indulging in gratuitous ... whatever ... or are you writing about something that make you laugh so hard you cry, or cry so hard you [well, in my case, cry more] have to laugh at yourself. Are you writing "just fan-fiction" that encourages our girls to think of themselves as just objects in order to receive any love at all ("Oh, in the fanfics I read Edward sexes Bella all the time, so for my BF to like me I have to put out")? Maybe you can write "just fan-fiction" where the girl is the heroine? Where the reader sees [predominately] herself as a person of worth and with self-worth: as a writer or poet or Amelia Earhart or Jane Austen or Bella Swan or ... herself ... the person nobody else can be: a person of value, a lovable person on her own terms, just as she is.

Nah! Who am I kidding? After all: "it's just fan-fiction" so I should just get a life.

Or is my getting a life the point at all? Ever?


If somebody reads my fanfic, and they not only get a life, but they ...

... start writing their own essays and stories?

... start seeing hope in their bleak work-a-day world?

and they ...

... stop thinking themselves as a victim of ... something ...

and they ...

... don't take their own life ... what's the worth of that?

Is the point of your fanfic for me to get a life?

I hope so.

I sincerely hope that your fanfic is so compelling, so touching, so meaningful, that I find, in it, a reason to keep breathing where I had no reason before.

Just fan-fiction? Yes. But it also can be Art, it also can be Literature.

For someone, it can be more than "just fan-fiction."

That all depends on you, my dear author(esse)s.

Your Reviews

You do know what a writer of fan fiction feels when [predominantly:] she receives a review?  So many profiles on fanfiction.net and so many chapter notes on twilighted.net show how desperately appreciated reviews are.

Even one word reviews.  Even just one word of encouragement.

Do you know how an authoress feels when she receives a review?  She wants to receive another one.  She keeps checking her email.  She checks her watch.  Thirty seconds have gone by ... she checks her email.  No new reviews.

The high of getting those encouraging words are replaced, for a while, by despondency and despair.  But then she bucks up.  She knows there's only one sure way to get another review, and that is to publish that next chapter or story.  So she grits her teeth and looks at that G-D blank computer screen for hours.

But then she starts typing, and then she types some more, and then she gets into it, and the words start flowing, and she loses herself in it.  She gets lost in her world, and she gives herself over to it, completely, and she writes now, and she writes and she writes and she writes, and if she's truly lost to herself ... completely ... in this world, then, maybe there's something that touches a reader ... touches another girl somewhere in the world who needed to read that before she did something or before she didn't do something, and reading it make her stop or reading it helped her to go on and to go forward and to live and to read some more, and maybe even to write something and to share that with the world and to save another girl.

Do you know what your review does?  Maybe it helps an author to write one more chapter.  Maybe it helps a reader to read that new chapter and to love it and to decide: I need to do this.  The words are burning in my mouth, and I must spit them out onto my keyboard, and I must put that first chapter out there.  And she gets her first review ever.  And she knows, she finally knows, that she's alive.  She finally found her voice, she finally had something to say.  She finally had something to say to somebody who told her "luv ur story, update soon plz," and it gave her a reason to write her next chapter until she becomes accomplished and confident in what she writes, and that confident, accomplished writing touches someone's soul somewhere.

And that fire burning in her mouth inflames the heart of that soul that had turned cold or sullen or despairing.

Do you know what your review does?

Maybe it saves somebody's life, did you ever think of that? Maybe somebody was dead, even though they were punching their ticket at school or at work or at nowhere doing nothing, and your review encouraged a writer to write and what that writer wrote, because in part of your review, gave somebody hope.

Your review is hope, and that is the most precious commodity in the world.

And of the 80,000 members of twilighted.net only a quarter of them ever review a chapter.  You, by your review, have put yourself in the top quarter of all twilighted.

Now, your review doesn't make the writer write.  The writer writes, or the writer does not, no matter how good your review is, no matter how many entreaties she receives (and, boy, have I begged writers for their next chapter, and a year later ... nothing).

Frankly, although you may say in your review "update soon!" it is actually I who is the one who cannot wait to read the next chapter in my story.  What happens during quiet time?  And why, oh, why! is that next chapter not out yet? 

Won't somebody please write it?

Oh, that falls on me?

Why — oh, why! — can't I just be the reader and somebody else write "My Sister Rosalie"?

Writing is hard.  Writing is so, so, ... so very gut-wrenchingly hard.  I hate writing.  MSR's "Mirror, Mirror" nearly killed me.  "Vasilii" in "Thirteen Ways" nearly did me in.  And RLT?  OMR!  Nearly every single chapter was a finisher for me, except, of course, the birds and the bees talk by Gwendolyn.  Gotta love Rosalie's mother, ... no wonder she has such a twisted view of Esmé, eh?  And then Rosalie turns right around and becomes what her mother is to a totally innocent girl ... her maid, that is, but ... hm, that description fits for our Bella, too, now, doesn't it?

Since writing is hard, then why write? Well, there's the compulsion of it (I must write), there's the act of creating something that's tangible (I wrote that), there's the pleasure of reading something that you wanted to read (that's why you wrote it, no?), and there's the reviews where somebody, somewhere, finally said to you:

Good job!

How often do you hear that at home or at school or at work? And you have three reviews for your story that says "Good job!" ... isn't that three more times you've heard that, like, ever, like, in your life?

You write, no? If you do write, and you've received a review, then you know what it's like. If you don't write, then write! But if you're not yet ready to write, leave a review and trust me on this one, there is nothing like it, and you are giving the authoress a priceless treasure ... a priceless treasure that only costs you one mouse click and a few words.

Do you see what your review does? It breathes life into the authoress' story: she keeps writing because there are readers saying that they like reading it, and so the story does not die on the vine, but continues to grow, organically. Your reviews are the rain that water the plants; your reviews are the sun that allow the flowers of our stories to open to you.

So, write a review (again), please?

But what do I write in my review, geophf? you ask.

Glad you asked.

Here are the rules:

1. Doesn't matter, just select the "submit review" option when you finish the chapter — and not a second later — and write a review. Even if that review is just one word: "good" or "more" or whatever. You read the chapter, so write the review. Right now.


2. See rule number 1.

So those are the rules.

(*ahem*)

But there are a few lemmas to writing reviews. And they are these:

1. Every word you write is read by your employer or a judge of a twific contest you are entering. And, even though you are using an alias, they know it's you. So keep it clean and courteous. Don't believe me? I didn't either, until three employers laid out copies of everything I wrote on the 'net (including aliased works). Good thing I kept it clean.


2. A good review is any review. And any review is a good review. Full stop. A substantive review says something about this chapter and tells the authoress what you thought about that something or how you felt about it and why. A good review is nice; a substantive review may help the authoress write a better chapter next time.

How important are reviews? Oh, pretty, very, essentially important, I'd say.

Case in point. I was ready to pack it in: at the end of "Compulsion" chapter of MSR I was going to write "... and then Rosalie returned to find Bella dead. The end." Because why? Because I had just written ten chapters with no feedback even though I had one hundred readers per chapter. I figured, why continue if none of the readers were interested enough to comment on what I had poured my heart into?

But later, after I pushed through my despondency and continued writing, anyway, came out of that story the idea of "Thirteen Ways," and then I received a PM from an authoress saying that story had inspired her to write her own fiction. If I had quit, she wouldn't have read that story that wouldn't have existed, ... would she be writing now?

But eventually I did receive some encouragement and some reviews, and I did continue, and somebody did see something in that continuation that inspired them. That's what your reviews do: they encourage. Your reviews encourage, and they are so easy for you not to write, aren't they? "Oh, I'll get to that 'later.'" you say, where you know full well that 'later' eventually means 'never.' Don't say that and don't do that, please. All it takes is for you to hit the 'submit review' button, write some words, and, guaranteed from me at least, you'll get a thank-you PM response, and you'll have encouraged the writing you enjoy reading, and you'll show others that this particular work has something worthwhile in it to read.

When you review, you win (you get more chapters to read); the authoress wins (you send happiness to the authoress), and somebody else wins (you just may, indirectly, touch somebody else's life). A review is a win-win-win.

A review is full of win.

Thank you for your reviews. Please, please, please: keep'm comin', eh?

"One Dozen Roses"

There was a contest called the "Eddies and Bellies" (you know: for Edward and Bella ... cute, no? Sigh! I did not invent the name; I'm just reporting it). One of the categories for which one could vote was something like: "Twilight Fan Fiction Story Which Everyone Must Read".

Well, that one has an obvious nominee: One Dozen Roses. As the Swiss would say: mais bien sur! which roughly translates as: "Me, Being Sure!" ... or something like that.

Anyway, everybody: stop what you are doing and go read that story. Come on now, don't just stand there, gaping, go read it.

Have you read it yet? Yes? Good!

Chapter 2 has Bella screaming at the sight of a rose in her bedroom. Well, now, most of you would think Bella would swoon! — not scream — you would think she would scream if it were Rosalie waiting for her in her bedroom.

I cannot agree, and neither could Bella after Rosalie had saved Bella's life for the umpteenth time, but that's neither here nor there for this entry.

What is here for this entry is the following: as you read in chapter 4, the totally-obvious "mysterious" rose giver rains rose petals all over Bella's bedroom as she's sleeping. Actually, I did this for my wife when I was dating her, ... something like the petal shower, that is.

Nowadays, I give her two dozen roses on random occasions (keeps her on her toes), but back in the day, before you were born, my dear sweet and young readers, I strew a dozen red roses over the sidewalk leading up from her driveway (actually her Aunt's and Uncle's driveway) up to her front door.

Of course, she totally missed it, just like Bella. She had groceries in her arms, and she wondered why the sidewalk was crunch-crunch-crunching beneath her feet. I wasn't there for the moment when she looked down (I had strewn the roses earlier that day and then made my escape to work), but I was told she had to go back to the store to buy more eggs.

My cara spoza: she's such a cutie!

A Rose by a Lemon tree

Writing chapter 24 of MSR ("My Sister Rosalie"), and, in it, a special garden temple is described. Sorry, I don't have the picture of the temple for you, as it exists currently as an image only in my head ... when I have the money to spare, I'll build it and take a picture of that for you to see.

But I do have a picture of the centerpiece. A pink rose. Bella's rose. Bella's Rosalie.



Lovely, isn't it?

Do something special for your sweetie today: get her a rose and tell her you love her.

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This post is dedicated to little Evie Grace on the occasion of her second birthday. Roonie, her mother and a reviewer of MSR, asked for something special, Rosalie is special to me, so I hope Evie Grace likes her rose.