Okay, in my most recent chapter of MSR ("A Hair"), people are giggling at me and pointing fingers:
"Ooh! Lookit geophfy being all nice to Edward, and stuff, give him more of whatever meds he's taking today!"
Okay, ladies, put down the offered whatever; I'm not taking meds, nor 'shrooms, and I haven't weirded out, nor changed positions (on Edward). Edward is, after all, as one reviewer stated, "so wise ... and dreamy."
Because, canonically, he is.
I may have my own views about this guy, and I may have a list for him, but, the amazing thing about Edward is that he has this debilitating handicap (reading minds) and may have grown up with a silver spoon in his mouth, and both contribute to his view of people and how he treats them, but then he does offer wisdom to Rosalie, then he does act as a gentleman, then he does, at times, try to listen to the other person's thoughts and words and then he does try to consider their position.
And he does talk with Rosalie or whomever, but then he keeps everything he "overhears" to himself. He may think of you meanly, but he tries not to be mean about it.
But I'm still not going to ask WWED.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
MSR: Less Talk, More Rokk! Please!
"A little less conversation, a little more action-action."
What are chapters of MSR like?
In the most recent chapter ("A Hair") our girl combs Rosalie's hair. And they make plans for cooking supper.
How ... how ... how ...
Well, how boring!
Why are you doing this to us, geophf?
MSR is a relationship fic. A chick fic, as it were.
Ya know. Two girls, in a cabin, talking.
There they are, in a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere, bathing, eating, sleeping, ... and. just. talking.
Well, let's compare MSR to life. Real life. Not "Heroes" or "V" or whatever's showing on the tube, but real life.
Is life filled with massive whatevers?
No, for the most part. For the vast majority of the day and of the year, life is just that, just living, just nothing, just everything.
And most people waste that opportunity, because that's all that life is, unless you're literally on the front-lines, like I was. You know, the front lines, where every decision I made affected the lives of four hundred men and women, every second of every day? And I wasn't even the head honcho, but one valve opened at the wrong time? One wrong order I give to my engineering team? Our ship goes down, and, being where we were: we all die.
And do you know what that was like? Boring. Tiring.
And sometimes, with M-16s and shotguns armed and free when I'd be on a boarding team, a little fun, a little scary.
What is your life like? Really. Does every decision you make potentially kill someone?
Yes, it does.
Because every decision you make involve somebody else, and every decision you make fundamentally reduces to: do I treat this person in front of me as 'thou' or do I treat them as 'it'?
And how is that?
Boring. Tiring. But also a little fun, and a little scary.
What's MSR like, right? Boring, right? Talk-talk-talk.
Why?
Because Bella and Rosalie, most of the time, treat each other as 'it' but, sometimes, they try to treat each other as 'thou.'
This last chapter there was a little bit of 'thou' going on, where Bella tries to understand Rosalie, and Rosalie tries to open up to Bella.
All in the context of combing hair after a bath then a conversation over the breakfast table.
Boring, isn't it?
Or is it boring? It sound more like it's 'life' to me, and living life? It's the only one we're given, so if it's boring, then, I gotta tell ya, that's your choice. I choose to allow myself to experience my life as an adventure, living it viscerally, in the eternal now, even if that now is a plain old boring conversation at the dinner table ... that will affect us and our relationships for the rest of our lives.
Oh, and p.s.: Martin Buber's I and Thou (Ich und du, actually) is, like, 200 pages (or hundreds of pages less than the latest HP or Twi fantasy (or fan-fic) that tells you nothing about life except how to escape from it). Read it. Now. Please! And rokk less, talk (and listen) more.
And, p.p.s. because I know you demanded it (and I listened): "Less Talk, More Rokk!" And, yes, MSR will also have that, too. Sigh.
What are chapters of MSR like?
In the most recent chapter ("A Hair") our girl combs Rosalie's hair. And they make plans for cooking supper.
How ... how ... how ...
Well, how boring!
Why are you doing this to us, geophf?
MSR is a relationship fic. A chick fic, as it were.
Ya know. Two girls, in a cabin, talking.
There they are, in a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere, bathing, eating, sleeping, ... and. just. talking.
Well, let's compare MSR to life. Real life. Not "Heroes" or "V" or whatever's showing on the tube, but real life.
Is life filled with massive whatevers?
No, for the most part. For the vast majority of the day and of the year, life is just that, just living, just nothing, just everything.
And most people waste that opportunity, because that's all that life is, unless you're literally on the front-lines, like I was. You know, the front lines, where every decision I made affected the lives of four hundred men and women, every second of every day? And I wasn't even the head honcho, but one valve opened at the wrong time? One wrong order I give to my engineering team? Our ship goes down, and, being where we were: we all die.
And do you know what that was like? Boring. Tiring.
And sometimes, with M-16s and shotguns armed and free when I'd be on a boarding team, a little fun, a little scary.
What is your life like? Really. Does every decision you make potentially kill someone?
Yes, it does.
Because every decision you make involve somebody else, and every decision you make fundamentally reduces to: do I treat this person in front of me as 'thou' or do I treat them as 'it'?
And how is that?
Boring. Tiring. But also a little fun, and a little scary.
What's MSR like, right? Boring, right? Talk-talk-talk.
Why?
Because Bella and Rosalie, most of the time, treat each other as 'it' but, sometimes, they try to treat each other as 'thou.'
This last chapter there was a little bit of 'thou' going on, where Bella tries to understand Rosalie, and Rosalie tries to open up to Bella.
All in the context of combing hair after a bath then a conversation over the breakfast table.
Boring, isn't it?
Or is it boring? It sound more like it's 'life' to me, and living life? It's the only one we're given, so if it's boring, then, I gotta tell ya, that's your choice. I choose to allow myself to experience my life as an adventure, living it viscerally, in the eternal now, even if that now is a plain old boring conversation at the dinner table ... that will affect us and our relationships for the rest of our lives.
Oh, and p.s.: Martin Buber's I and Thou (Ich und du, actually) is, like, 200 pages (or hundreds of pages less than the latest HP or Twi fantasy (or fan-fic) that tells you nothing about life except how to escape from it). Read it. Now. Please! And rokk less, talk (and listen) more.
And, p.p.s. because I know you demanded it (and I listened): "Less Talk, More Rokk!" And, yes, MSR will also have that, too. Sigh.
Wherefore Vera
I've recent read a couple of stories about Vera, and have read (and reread, and reread) Eclipse, chapter 7 "Unhappy Ending," which is "Rosalie's" chapter, but, in a very real way, is Vera's chapter.
Because, I argue, the key to understanding everything between Rosalie and Bella in the canon, is to understand Vera.
Please allow me to explain.
Emmett seems to fill a need, but their relationship seems to be more surface. They are "happy" with what they give to each other, but they don't probe to any depth. I would think Rosalie would need more than a strong, sexually charged, easy-going, funny man. I would think she would want somebody she could open her heart to, all the way, and really, not cry, because she can't, but scold her like Vera did, not let Rosalie get away with the stuff Emmett does (in canon), share with Rosalie her deepest sadnesses, and let Rosalie share hers with her.
I think Rosalie needs this, no? And I think she's not getting all that from Emmett. Nor from Royce (well, who she thought Royce would be), and that's why she had Vera then. A true friend, of the heart.
Rosalie doesn't have much good, in the canon (E, ch 7), to say about Vera. Vera married early and had a baby at 17 years of age. She married down. Far down. Sure, Rosalie and Vera are "only" middle class, struggling to climb the social ladder, but they were friends, so they were in the same social circle, and that circle?
Upper middle class. Rosalie's father worked at the bank ... during the Depression! ... Rosalie's father bought her dresses (not just an apple for dessert); Rosalie's mother introduced Rosalie around to the elite.
And Rosalie and Vera were friends. Friends of the heart. Why? What names does Rosalie mention in her life story? Emmett, Royce, ... and Vera. Not her parents' names, not her brothers' names; no: Vera's name.
Vera was Rosalie's only friend ... ever.
And Vera had ... as they said back then ... moxie.
She married a carpenter. Do you understand what this means? Her parents were in the first circles. So they told her this: "Don't marry him." And she did.
And they cut her right off. She lived at his house, on cheapside ... not at a house that her parents could provide for her.
Or they didn't cut her right off, and did offer easy living. And she told them no. "Thank you, Mother, Father, but I'm going to cleave to my man, and go where he will go, not where you tell him to go."
Either way, she chose her own path, not the path her parents "offered" to her.
And Vera was Rosalie's friend. Whom do you visit a week before your wedding? A casual acquaintance? Royce had his buddies, that he liked much more Rosalie, and Rosalie had Vera, whom she loved more than anybody in the world.
Because, as much as Rosalie belittles Vera in her story she tells in canon, Vera was the only person who put up with Rosalie, besides Emmett and Royce, but Vera went one step further, and this is implied by the canon: Vera chose her own path, and she let Rosalie choose hers, too, but she didn't let Rosalie get away with her lies.
Because Rosalie lies. All the time. She tells Royce or Emmett that everything's beautiful and pristine and happy. Worst of all, she lies to herself. She turns her nose up to everything and looks down: "I'm perfect; you're not."
She even does this to Vera. And Vera rolls her eyes and says "I'm happy for you, Rosalie, I really am. But I choose this. I choose true happiness, and this is what it is." And she shows Rosalie, not mean-spiritedly, but kindly what happiness can be.
She shows Rosalie so clearly that even Rosalie sees it, knows it for what it is, and acknowledges that Vera chose better.
I think Vera's been through enough in her life that she has the experience to share something and to know enough about Rosalie to know that there's more to her than she's letting on, and she's old enough not to allow Rosalie play her games with herself. I think maybe Rosalie needs Vera in soul-mate kind of way.
I think Rosalie needed Vera then, even though she had the perfect handsome prince in Royce, and I think Rosalie needs Vera now, even with her big teddy-bear of a perfect husband in Emmett.
Woo, boy, does Rosalie want to tear Bella to pieces pretty much the first second Rosalie sees her, and why? Because Bella can have babies, but no, she's going after a vampire, for goodness sake!
Or so Rosalie says.
I would beg to differ with Rosalie's supplied argument.
We never get a physical description of Vera, but she wasn't as beautiful as Rosalie. We get a physical description of Bella, and we find out that she's not as beautiful as Rosalie.
Just like Vera.
No surprises there: Rosalie is the most beautiful person in the whole world. That's canonical.
But Bella chooses her own path, over the objections of Edward, her parents (NM, catatonia), the whole universe.
Just like Vera.
Bella forgives Rosalie her (very serious) mistakes (NM, post Vulturi) and accepted her, not holding Rosalie's faults against her.
Just like Vera.
Rosalie had a conversation with Bella. Who is the only other person in the whole world that Rosalie ever had a conversation with? Conversation, not diatribe. Emmett? No.
Vera.
Your point, geophf?
Rosalie is a hurting person. She wants to kill Bella (MS, post Phenomenon), because, I argue, Bella sees too much, even, possible will see into Rosalie's soul.
So Rosalie's hurting.
And Vera's dead.
And here's a little quiet, brown-brown girl, who forgives Rosalie, talks with her, and chooses her own path.
Rosalie wants to tear Bella to shreds, because if Rosalie dares to take that risk of opening her heart toVeraBella again, she'll just die on Rosalie ... again.
So that explains Rosalie's (very) antagonistic attitude to human Bella.
And (pre-)vampire Bella? Now that Bella has made her irrevocable choice and has stood up to everyone, just like Vera, Bella may die (and Rosalie is just so fiercely protective ofVeraBella here, and of herself, possibly preparing herself for being hurt again when VeraBella dies again), but VeraBella "re"born, that is "newborn"?
Suddenly, it's a BxRose love-fest. Why?
Because now, NOW,VeraBella can be a friend of Rosalie's heart, and not go dying on her, as humans are wont to do.
Everybody says: "Rosalie wants Renesmee."
Everybody is missing the point.
Rosalie likes Renesmee. Rosalie loves Renesmee. But her babysitting and all that serves two purposes: it gives her time with the baby. And it givesVeraBella time with her husband.
Rosalie is doing this for herself. Rosalie does everything for herself. But Rosalie is being selfless, as well.
Rosalie is being selfless.
Why?
Because, I argue, when she was alive, she didn't appreciate Vera for what she was. A friend. Just that. A friend.
Rosalie has never had a friend before or since.
And Vera was there for Rosalie, in spite of and despite the fact that Rosalie is just so Rosalie.
And now here'sVeraBella again. Now, finally, Rosalie can say "thank you" to her for that one thing Vera gave to Rosalie that nobody else in the world ever did. AND Rosalie can finally, finally-finally-finally, have that true friend that she can (maybe some day, centuries from now) open up a bit more than she did in Eclipse, ch 7.
You know, a relationship like Alice has with Bella. Bella's not a replacement, nor substitute, for Jasper.
A relationship like that, but, because this is Rosalie, after she gets over her vanity, it will be a relationship so much deeper than that.
Even though she doesn't know this herself, even though she's fought so fiercely against it, she'll have a relationship that she's been looking for her entire existence.
If we look at the relationship of Rosalie and Bella through the lens that Vera provides, we see that it is consistent from start to present (not "finish" because now, thankfully, it will never end). It's not baby-envy. It's not "human"-envy. It's Rosalie. Hurting Rosalie, scared; protective Rosalie, scary, and, eventually, trusting Rosalie, loving and understanding, and finally ... opening.
Just like the relationship she had with Vera, more than seventy years ago.
Endnote/Apologia
When Juliet says "Romeo, o Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" She's not saying, "Where are you Romeo?" she's saying "Why are you Romeo?" That is "Why are you my family's enemy, and not some other cute guy to make this whole liebestod thing easier for me?"
Because, I argue, the key to understanding everything between Rosalie and Bella in the canon, is to understand Vera.
Please allow me to explain.
First, I think we need to examine Rosalie and Emmett's relationship.
Emmett seems to fill a need, but their relationship seems to be more surface. They are "happy" with what they give to each other, but they don't probe to any depth. I would think Rosalie would need more than a strong, sexually charged, easy-going, funny man. I would think she would want somebody she could open her heart to, all the way, and really, not cry, because she can't, but scold her like Vera did, not let Rosalie get away with the stuff Emmett does (in canon), share with Rosalie her deepest sadnesses, and let Rosalie share hers with her.
I think Rosalie needs this, no? And I think she's not getting all that from Emmett. Nor from Royce (well, who she thought Royce would be), and that's why she had Vera then. A true friend, of the heart.
Now let's look at Vera, herself.
Rosalie doesn't have much good, in the canon (E, ch 7), to say about Vera. Vera married early and had a baby at 17 years of age. She married down. Far down. Sure, Rosalie and Vera are "only" middle class, struggling to climb the social ladder, but they were friends, so they were in the same social circle, and that circle?
Upper middle class. Rosalie's father worked at the bank ... during the Depression! ... Rosalie's father bought her dresses (not just an apple for dessert); Rosalie's mother introduced Rosalie around to the elite.
And Rosalie and Vera were friends. Friends of the heart. Why? What names does Rosalie mention in her life story? Emmett, Royce, ... and Vera. Not her parents' names, not her brothers' names; no: Vera's name.
Vera was Rosalie's only friend ... ever.
And Vera had ... as they said back then ... moxie.
She married a carpenter. Do you understand what this means? Her parents were in the first circles. So they told her this: "Don't marry him." And she did.
And they cut her right off. She lived at his house, on cheapside ... not at a house that her parents could provide for her.
Or they didn't cut her right off, and did offer easy living. And she told them no. "Thank you, Mother, Father, but I'm going to cleave to my man, and go where he will go, not where you tell him to go."
Either way, she chose her own path, not the path her parents "offered" to her.
And Vera was Rosalie's friend. Whom do you visit a week before your wedding? A casual acquaintance? Royce had his buddies, that he liked much more Rosalie, and Rosalie had Vera, whom she loved more than anybody in the world.
Because, as much as Rosalie belittles Vera in her story she tells in canon, Vera was the only person who put up with Rosalie, besides Emmett and Royce, but Vera went one step further, and this is implied by the canon: Vera chose her own path, and she let Rosalie choose hers, too, but she didn't let Rosalie get away with her lies.
Because Rosalie lies. All the time. She tells Royce or Emmett that everything's beautiful and pristine and happy. Worst of all, she lies to herself. She turns her nose up to everything and looks down: "I'm perfect; you're not."
She even does this to Vera. And Vera rolls her eyes and says "I'm happy for you, Rosalie, I really am. But I choose this. I choose true happiness, and this is what it is." And she shows Rosalie, not mean-spiritedly, but kindly what happiness can be.
She shows Rosalie so clearly that even Rosalie sees it, knows it for what it is, and acknowledges that Vera chose better.
I think Vera's been through enough in her life that she has the experience to share something and to know enough about Rosalie to know that there's more to her than she's letting on, and she's old enough not to allow Rosalie play her games with herself. I think maybe Rosalie needs Vera in soul-mate kind of way.
I think Rosalie needed Vera then, even though she had the perfect handsome prince in Royce, and I think Rosalie needs Vera now, even with her big teddy-bear of a perfect husband in Emmett.
Now let's look at the "relationship" of Rosalie and Bella
Woo, boy, does Rosalie want to tear Bella to pieces pretty much the first second Rosalie sees her, and why? Because Bella can have babies, but no, she's going after a vampire, for goodness sake!
Or so Rosalie says.
I would beg to differ with Rosalie's supplied argument.
We never get a physical description of Vera, but she wasn't as beautiful as Rosalie. We get a physical description of Bella, and we find out that she's not as beautiful as Rosalie.
Just like Vera.
No surprises there: Rosalie is the most beautiful person in the whole world. That's canonical.
But Bella chooses her own path, over the objections of Edward, her parents (NM, catatonia), the whole universe.
Just like Vera.
Bella forgives Rosalie her (very serious) mistakes (NM, post Vulturi) and accepted her, not holding Rosalie's faults against her.
Just like Vera.
Rosalie had a conversation with Bella. Who is the only other person in the whole world that Rosalie ever had a conversation with? Conversation, not diatribe. Emmett? No.
Vera.
Your point, geophf?
Rosalie is a hurting person. She wants to kill Bella (MS, post Phenomenon), because, I argue, Bella sees too much, even, possible will see into Rosalie's soul.
So Rosalie's hurting.
And Vera's dead.
And here's a little quiet, brown-brown girl, who forgives Rosalie, talks with her, and chooses her own path.
Rosalie wants to tear Bella to shreds, because if Rosalie dares to take that risk of opening her heart to
So that explains Rosalie's (very) antagonistic attitude to human Bella.
And (pre-)vampire Bella? Now that Bella has made her irrevocable choice and has stood up to everyone, just like Vera, Bella may die (and Rosalie is just so fiercely protective of
Suddenly, it's a BxRose love-fest. Why?
Because now, NOW,
Everybody says: "Rosalie wants Renesmee."
Everybody is missing the point.
Rosalie likes Renesmee. Rosalie loves Renesmee. But her babysitting and all that serves two purposes: it gives her time with the baby. And it gives
Rosalie is doing this for herself. Rosalie does everything for herself. But Rosalie is being selfless, as well.
Rosalie is being selfless.
Why?
Because, I argue, when she was alive, she didn't appreciate Vera for what she was. A friend. Just that. A friend.
Rosalie has never had a friend before or since.
And Vera was there for Rosalie, in spite of and despite the fact that Rosalie is just so Rosalie.
And now here's
You know, a relationship like Alice has with Bella. Bella's not a replacement, nor substitute, for Jasper.
A relationship like that, but, because this is Rosalie, after she gets over her vanity, it will be a relationship so much deeper than that.
Even though she doesn't know this herself, even though she's fought so fiercely against it, she'll have a relationship that she's been looking for her entire existence.
If we look at the relationship of Rosalie and Bella through the lens that Vera provides, we see that it is consistent from start to present (not "finish" because now, thankfully, it will never end). It's not baby-envy. It's not "human"-envy. It's Rosalie. Hurting Rosalie, scared; protective Rosalie, scary, and, eventually, trusting Rosalie, loving and understanding, and finally ... opening.
Just like the relationship she had with Vera, more than seventy years ago.
Endnote/Apologia
When Juliet says "Romeo, o Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" She's not saying, "Where are you Romeo?" she's saying "Why are you Romeo?" That is "Why are you my family's enemy, and not some other cute guy to make this whole liebestod thing easier for me?"
Monday, November 30, 2009
November 2009 stats
So, I'm moving all this to a spreadsheet, so I won't be showing the numbers here any more. The end result for the month of November 2009 for page views on ffn are as follows:
There were a total of 4,057 page views from 1,475 visitors for the month of November, 2009. This was the most-read/most-readers month my stories have seen, so far, nearly doubling the second-place month both in pages viewed and readers.
So, thank you. I thank each and every one of you for reading my stories. Remember to review, too, please.
- Top 10er (Nov 2009)
- USA
- Australia
- UK
- Canada
- Ireland
- Germany
- South Korea
- Brazil
- Singapore
- Italy
- Holy Crow: South Korea (double digit page-view-to-readership ratio)
- Improved: UK, Ireland, Germany (improved ratio)
Germany rallied at the end of the month to edge South Korea out of the 6th place position - Reversi: Canada (reversed a downward ratio trend to an upward one)
- Kicking butt: South Korea, Australia, Ireland (4.0 or more page-views to readership ratio)
- Player: USA, Australia, UK, Canada, Ireland, South Korea, Germany, Brazil, Singapore, Sweden, Poland, Italy (shows up on the top 10 any time during the month)
- Comeback Kid: Italy (Got knocked off the list, but then returned)
There were a total of 4,057 page views from 1,475 visitors for the month of November, 2009. This was the most-read/most-readers month my stories have seen, so far, nearly doubling the second-place month both in pages viewed and readers.
So, thank you. I thank each and every one of you for reading my stories. Remember to review, too, please.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Suicide is painless? No.
My most recent chapter ("Take Me") of my story MSR has our girl so lost that she begs Rosalie to 'take her,' that is: to kill her by exsanguination, because her life is now at its lowest and has no prospects to get better. Rosalie disagrees.
It is just so, so hard, being in the position where a person thinks they have no out and things can only get worse from here ... and that nobody loves them ... and that nobody cares ... and that by committing suicide, people will actually be happier that they are gone ... because (and this has happened) somebody told them they should just kill themselves.
I'm no expert in suicide prevention, but: a couple of things.
Helen DeWitt in her novel Last Samurai offered the suicide's alternative (that actually came from Jonathan Glover, the Utilitarian) which is "before committing suicide you should change your job, leave your wife, leave the country" (ibid, p 490)
The other thing is this: you think your help others by offing yourself. You think you're terrible. You're not, and you're not. The webcomic "Questionable Content" shows a daddy's little girl, the happiest child in the world, very, very damaged because she went out back one day, looking for Pa, only to see Pa put a gun to his head. A happy man, a kind man, a good family man, a man with no secrets, but then this. And she's been paying for it every day since. Don't make them the excuse for your death, make them the reason to keep living one more day.
Because they need you and they love you, and they will miss you when you are gone.
Even 18 years later. As I do.
As I state in my story, there is a special place in Hell for suicides, and you may or may not end up there, but one thing that will happen is that people who know you and love you will carry that little burden in their hearts for the rest of their lives and perhaps unto Eternity.
But you think you have to face this alone. You don't. Your friends and family will listen. If they won't, then there's a hotline. And, if that doesn't work, then, please, do something, even the Glover alternative. Why kill yourself if all you've seen of the world is the one little country in which you grew up? Get a ticket to ride on a tall ship and go up into the crow's nest, it will (literally) lift your heart, and the price of the ticket is so much less than the price of your life. It is. Really.
It is just so, so hard, being in the position where a person thinks they have no out and things can only get worse from here ... and that nobody loves them ... and that nobody cares ... and that by committing suicide, people will actually be happier that they are gone ... because (and this has happened) somebody told them they should just kill themselves.
I'm no expert in suicide prevention, but: a couple of things.
Helen DeWitt in her novel Last Samurai offered the suicide's alternative (that actually came from Jonathan Glover, the Utilitarian) which is "before committing suicide you should change your job, leave your wife, leave the country" (ibid, p 490)
The other thing is this: you think your help others by offing yourself. You think you're terrible. You're not, and you're not. The webcomic "Questionable Content" shows a daddy's little girl, the happiest child in the world, very, very damaged because she went out back one day, looking for Pa, only to see Pa put a gun to his head. A happy man, a kind man, a good family man, a man with no secrets, but then this. And she's been paying for it every day since. Don't make them the excuse for your death, make them the reason to keep living one more day.
Because they need you and they love you, and they will miss you when you are gone.
Even 18 years later. As I do.
As I state in my story, there is a special place in Hell for suicides, and you may or may not end up there, but one thing that will happen is that people who know you and love you will carry that little burden in their hearts for the rest of their lives and perhaps unto Eternity.
But you think you have to face this alone. You don't. Your friends and family will listen. If they won't, then there's a hotline. And, if that doesn't work, then, please, do something, even the Glover alternative. Why kill yourself if all you've seen of the world is the one little country in which you grew up? Get a ticket to ride on a tall ship and go up into the crow's nest, it will (literally) lift your heart, and the price of the ticket is so much less than the price of your life. It is. Really.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Cullen's "noble" choice?
Isn't it noble that the Cullens (and the Denali coven) choose to abstain from humans and their blood? Garrett, in his speech in BD, seems to indicate that they are doing something that really is for the betterment of all vampire society, right?
Wouldn't you agree?
For the most part in Twifandom, this seems to be the sentiment. "Vegetarian" vampires? How noble!
And couched in those words, it certainly seems that way — after all, the Volturi treated Carlisle as an honoured guest, ... a curiosity, but a guest, none-the-less — but let's look at it from the vampire perspective. Or, more correctly, let's transform the vampire perspective to the humanist one. Let's look at the Cullens through your eyes, if your eyes were vampire ones.
You know this doctor and his family, and they are well-bred, well-dressed, refined and educated (the kids are a little weird, what with Edward always grimacing and Alice always going off into these traces, but Rosalie is sure easy on the eyes and both Emmett and Jasper are both manly men), so you invite them over for supper. You prepare this feast, spending days in meticulous preparation to get everything just right, you invite the Cullens over, present the feast, but they just shake their heads at you, snobbishly, and say they follow and alternate lifestyle when it comes to food, and they bring out their own meals which are ...
Which are bags of vomit and horse manure (c.f. MSR, "Compulsion").
Now, you have the "turkey" and the "roast beast" on the table, you have the "red wine" out. Everything's perfect for a refined and elegant family that the Cullens, up to now, appeared to be to you. You try talking some sense into them.
Oh, no!
"We prefer this way because it doesn't hurt those poor, innocent creatures we so love!" they exclaim. And then they start eating that ... well, that stuff right in front of you. Imagine it: your guests, eating horse manure and vomit, over your protests.
I'd be willing to bet, if this was happening in front of you, you'd kind of lose your appetite, right?
I'd be willing to bet, the next time you'd think about inviting them over, you'd check with them first to see if they were still on that "diet," and, if they were, you'd probably find some conflict in your schedule.
I'd be willing to bet, if they kept this up, and they started extolling their tastes to you and your friends, you'd ask them to take their business elsewhere, and also very seriously consider calling the Department of Health and 'Human' Services, and for good measure, Homeland Security, as anybody who ate that stuff, by choice had to be off their rocker and more than likely a threat to you and yours.
Vampire 'vegetarianism' ... still a noble choice? Or, perhaps, looking at it through the eyes of a vampire, might you not possibly see this lifestyle choice as ... well,
An abomination.
Does the most recent chapter of MSR ("Lillian, Arise!") now make better sense? Those mean, mean Volturi, stamping out the Cullens like that, aren't they really just removing undesirables?
I mean, after all, you call the police to break up domestic disturbances in the next apartment over due to the "devil in a bottle." If your neighbors were really eating that kind of food, stinking up the whole building, going door to door trying to proselytize their twisted lifestyle, you would be glad to have the police cart them away, and all your neighbors would pat you on the back for a job well done.
Do you now see why the Cullens' lifestyle took so long to become apparent to Carlisle and the others? Do you now see why it hasn't caught on like wildfire with other vampires?
The amazing thing to me? That they have so many friends ... dear friends, too ... Peter and Charlotte particularly take time out of their schedule to visit them (cf. Midnight Sun). And all the support they had in BD, Book III was not only self-serving (*ahem* Stephan? Vladimir?) but from friends across the world (the Amazon, Ireland, England, Egypt (not so much)) who came to them to support their friends to allow them to continue to live this very odd lifestyle.
Vampires have a more kindly nature than what I would have imagined for creatures designed to be perfect predators.
"Kind for a vampire" ... indeed!
I'm still not going to go into a dark alley to meet one, however. Nor should you, Miss Oh-Bite-Me-Edward!
"Vampire society" -- for naturally nomadic creatures there's a weird juxtaposition of words
Wouldn't you agree?
For the most part in Twifandom, this seems to be the sentiment. "Vegetarian" vampires? How noble!
And couched in those words, it certainly seems that way — after all, the Volturi treated Carlisle as an honoured guest, ... a curiosity, but a guest, none-the-less — but let's look at it from the vampire perspective. Or, more correctly, let's transform the vampire perspective to the humanist one. Let's look at the Cullens through your eyes, if your eyes were vampire ones.
You know this doctor and his family, and they are well-bred, well-dressed, refined and educated (the kids are a little weird, what with Edward always grimacing and Alice always going off into these traces, but Rosalie is sure easy on the eyes and both Emmett and Jasper are both manly men), so you invite them over for supper. You prepare this feast, spending days in meticulous preparation to get everything just right, you invite the Cullens over, present the feast, but they just shake their heads at you, snobbishly, and say they follow and alternate lifestyle when it comes to food, and they bring out their own meals which are ...
Which are bags of vomit and horse manure (c.f. MSR, "Compulsion").
Now, you have the "turkey" and the "roast beast" on the table, you have the "red wine" out. Everything's perfect for a refined and elegant family that the Cullens, up to now, appeared to be to you. You try talking some sense into them.
Oh, no!
"We prefer this way because it doesn't hurt those poor, innocent creatures we so love!" they exclaim. And then they start eating that ... well, that stuff right in front of you. Imagine it: your guests, eating horse manure and vomit, over your protests.
I'd be willing to bet, if this was happening in front of you, you'd kind of lose your appetite, right?
I'd be willing to bet, the next time you'd think about inviting them over, you'd check with them first to see if they were still on that "diet," and, if they were, you'd probably find some conflict in your schedule.
I'd be willing to bet, if they kept this up, and they started extolling their tastes to you and your friends, you'd ask them to take their business elsewhere, and also very seriously consider calling the Department of Health and 'Human' Services, and for good measure, Homeland Security, as anybody who ate that stuff, by choice had to be off their rocker and more than likely a threat to you and yours.
Vampire 'vegetarianism' ... still a noble choice? Or, perhaps, looking at it through the eyes of a vampire, might you not possibly see this lifestyle choice as ... well,
An abomination.
Does the most recent chapter of MSR ("Lillian, Arise!") now make better sense? Those mean, mean Volturi, stamping out the Cullens like that, aren't they really just removing undesirables?
I mean, after all, you call the police to break up domestic disturbances in the next apartment over due to the "devil in a bottle." If your neighbors were really eating that kind of food, stinking up the whole building, going door to door trying to proselytize their twisted lifestyle, you would be glad to have the police cart them away, and all your neighbors would pat you on the back for a job well done.
Do you now see why the Cullens' lifestyle took so long to become apparent to Carlisle and the others? Do you now see why it hasn't caught on like wildfire with other vampires?
The amazing thing to me? That they have so many friends ... dear friends, too ... Peter and Charlotte particularly take time out of their schedule to visit them (cf. Midnight Sun). And all the support they had in BD, Book III was not only self-serving (*ahem* Stephan? Vladimir?) but from friends across the world (the Amazon, Ireland, England, Egypt (not so much)) who came to them to support their friends to allow them to continue to live this very odd lifestyle.
Vampires have a more kindly nature than what I would have imagined for creatures designed to be perfect predators.
"Kind for a vampire" ... indeed!
I'm still not going to go into a dark alley to meet one, however. Nor should you, Miss Oh-Bite-Me-Edward!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
"What Would Edward Do?"
So you do know the WWJD thing ("What Would Jesus Do?"), right?
Yes: "What Would Edward Do?"
This question was brought forcefully to mind when I took my family out for sup last night instead of working, as is my wont, and my cara spoza said something along the lines of "you are a good husband."
You don't know me, so you don't know how much thought and effort my dear one had to put to be able to say that statement sincerely. So, my initial reaction was to vehemently deny what she said, and, ... to provide counterexamples. Lots of counterexamples.
But then I thought: WWED? ("What Would Edward Do?")
That's easy. And canonical.
Edward would get up from the table, lead Bella into the forest, and abandon her there, after she told him she would die without him. So he threw her, literally, to the wolves so she could commit suicide because he thought he wasn't good enough.
WWRD? ("What Would [my] Rosalie Do?")
She would throw Bella face down into the snow, in February, then (nearly) throw a tree on her and that was the warming up stage, because let the shouting commence!
And, actually, that is a kindness, compared to Rosalie in the book series. For what did she do? Plan with Jasper the best way to murder the girl after Phenomenon.
WWJD? ("What Would Jesus Do?")
I was going to say I wasn't sure, but the answer's been given as well:
"Good Teacher [...]"
"Why do you call me good?" [...]
Mark 10:17-18
So, everybody, by their examples, are telling me that I should have snapped back. Heck, Rosalie tells us that even the Reverend Mr. Dimmesdale (Scarlet Letter) did his fair share of breast-beating, "Oh, I'm not good; I'm not good!"
The thing of it is, none of the above folks were looking to make nice or to make friends or to keep friends (*ahem*: Edward?). None of them were talking to somebody they wanted to spend the rest of forever with, or so they think.
None of them were addressing their (current) wife. Or BFF. Or, in my case, both.
In most of the cases listed above, the (harsh) responder wanted the sayer to think what they were saying.
Definitely not the case here. My cara spoza was giving me a compliment. She knows my goods and my bads; she's measured them, and, for all that, and all that, she decided to say this. She did think about and know what she was saying.
And definitely not the case for you, too. I mean, maybe your BF or GF or spouse is saying something thoughtlessly, but do you really want to tear them a new one because they just called you kind or nice or said "I love you" and you're not ready to hear that because you don't deserve it, and you know it?
WWED?
Edward didn't deserve Bella's love, and he knew this, so what does he do? He up an leaves her, knowing she's a danger magnet, knowing there's danger out there, and no Mike Newton nor Jacob Black (in his current form) could possibly defend a girl with vampire scent all over her. And that's not even the point.
The point is this: she loves him, she needs him.
Edward should have manned up and said "thank you" and stayed and then grew to be the man (or vampire or whatever) that Bella saw him to be.
So WWID? ("What Would I Do?") I would do what I did do.
I said "thank you" and now I'm working on being the person my cara spoza sees me to be.
For her.
WWYD? ("What Would You Do?")
Maybe Edward would rethink his position, given the fallout of his actions was New Moon and Eclipse.
Bella's telling you she loves you, Edward ... WWYD?
Your spouse or your BF or GF or BFF is telling you something nice about you ... WWYD?
Do not go to wwjd(dot)com unless you wish to be blinded by flash and garish colours!Well, the Twilight community has their own credo: "WWED?"
Yes: "What Would Edward Do?"
This question was brought forcefully to mind when I took my family out for sup last night instead of working, as is my wont, and my cara spoza said something along the lines of "you are a good husband."
You don't know me, so you don't know how much thought and effort my dear one had to put to be able to say that statement sincerely. So, my initial reaction was to vehemently deny what she said, and, ... to provide counterexamples. Lots of counterexamples.
But then I thought: WWED? ("What Would Edward Do?")
That's easy. And canonical.
Edward would get up from the table, lead Bella into the forest, and abandon her there, after she told him she would die without him. So he threw her, literally, to the wolves so she could commit suicide because he thought he wasn't good enough.
WWRD? ("What Would [my] Rosalie Do?")
She would throw Bella face down into the snow, in February, then (nearly) throw a tree on her and that was the warming up stage, because let the shouting commence!
And, actually, that is a kindness, compared to Rosalie in the book series. For what did she do? Plan with Jasper the best way to murder the girl after Phenomenon.
WWJD? ("What Would Jesus Do?")
I was going to say I wasn't sure, but the answer's been given as well:
"Good Teacher [...]"
"Why do you call me good?" [...]
Mark 10:17-18
So, everybody, by their examples, are telling me that I should have snapped back. Heck, Rosalie tells us that even the Reverend Mr. Dimmesdale (Scarlet Letter) did his fair share of breast-beating, "Oh, I'm not good; I'm not good!"
The thing of it is, none of the above folks were looking to make nice or to make friends or to keep friends (*ahem*: Edward?). None of them were talking to somebody they wanted to spend the rest of forever with, or so they think.
None of them were addressing their (current) wife. Or BFF. Or, in my case, both.
In most of the cases listed above, the (harsh) responder wanted the sayer to think what they were saying.
Definitely not the case here. My cara spoza was giving me a compliment. She knows my goods and my bads; she's measured them, and, for all that, and all that, she decided to say this. She did think about and know what she was saying.
And definitely not the case for you, too. I mean, maybe your BF or GF or spouse is saying something thoughtlessly, but do you really want to tear them a new one because they just called you kind or nice or said "I love you" and you're not ready to hear that because you don't deserve it, and you know it?
WWED?
Edward didn't deserve Bella's love, and he knew this, so what does he do? He up an leaves her, knowing she's a danger magnet, knowing there's danger out there, and no Mike Newton nor Jacob Black (in his current form) could possibly defend a girl with vampire scent all over her. And that's not even the point.
The point is this: she loves him, she needs him.
Edward should have manned up and said "thank you" and stayed and then grew to be the man (or vampire or whatever) that Bella saw him to be.
So WWID? ("What Would I Do?") I would do what I did do.
I said "thank you" and now I'm working on being the person my cara spoza sees me to be.
For her.
WWYD? ("What Would You Do?")
Maybe Edward would rethink his position, given the fallout of his actions was New Moon and Eclipse.
Bella's telling you she loves you, Edward ... WWYD?
Your spouse or your BF or GF or BFF is telling you something nice about you ... WWYD?
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